Care & Worried

Perhaps i cared too much. I guess i feel that its part of my responsibility. Care, worry and a hell lots of other mixed emotions accumulated.

Dont see the wrong in caring so much for my section. My mom's kinda like nagging at me for caring so much for my section instead of studies. But hello ~ i need a break man.

The fear of losing out, the fear of stepping down leaving them unprotected, the fear of graduating, the fear of our standard deproving partly thanks to our conductor, instructor and tchr and finally the fear of not achieving for what we aimed for - distinction for syc. It just makes me shiver.

Three years two months ago, i was new to my zhcotby. And now im the sectional leader holding so damn much responsibilities. Haiz. Committed more than what i should have commit. People might call me stubborn and say that since im stepping down soon, why care and worry so much.

It just sucks a whole damn lot that they dont understand what i feel. I just went along with what is right. Help them in every area that could be helped and idk... Had so much fun with them.. I cherish my section mates so much.. So i kinda cant bear to leave them.

Fun joy laughter suffers nags whatever. We've been through all these tgther. Its hard to describe this bond btwn us. To say that its unbreakable is a lie. Time would just break us all up. Syc is just a month away. And co is screwed.

Coordination, time, practice, commission, sacrifices, unite, etc. We have loads to work on before we set forth for this battle of ours.

As theres only 80 students allowed to perform, and we have like 100plus students. Sacrifices have to be made. This sucks to the core. Who's with me man!

My section cant afford to not send two or more ppl for syc. Our sound is alr too hard to project and we need everyone. Its just unfair that other sections get to send so many and cut down mine instead. I know theres this give and take system.

But it just aint the right thing. And the other three seniors feel the same way. Sucks ttm when the upper ppl are ruining everything we have, acting like they know all but actually they know shit.

The consequences of losing my section mates is quite huge. I want everyone to be in and they all deserved to be in.

Had a heart to heart talk with my tchr in charge and he said he'll think abt it. Hope he better think abt it. I might break down anytime sooner trying to balance studies and my worries.

You guys whos reading this might think im mad. But such a feeling is something that cant be described.

If u feel spammed. Just ignore this long post. Cos this wall id just like my diary. Pardon me ppl! Signing off.